Could these thoughts be what I think they mean?

sweet heart, this is a horrible thing for you to go through. You need to talk to someone. I had something similar happen to me, but I can't quite figure it out or remember it exactly like you said.. so I'm getting help from therapy. You need to tell your mom that something is wrong, because you can heal the pain you're feeling. . A lot of people who undergo a traumatic experince when they are children sometimes experience "memory loss" from certain years or events. Talk to someone you trust, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you..