Why do you think I wrote this?

I think you wrote this because your crush is always on your mind, as you mentioned "please help me stop my thoughts" "i want to stop myself from thinking, about you at all". It's You like your crush alot because you keep thinking about them, but the thoughts are too much for you to handle because you don't just want to think about your crush, you want to be able to talk to your crush. As you said, "i will never achieve my goal",that goal might be to talk and get to know your crush, but maybe you are too shy to approach your crush. So you think it's easier to erase you memory and forget about them so you won't be distracted anymore then to approach your crush. This is what I think.